time is moving so slowly
everyone is angry at me and judging me
i don't want to be alone
im so disappointed

everything is so slow, this is stupid

TRYING TIMES

I slept for 15 hours or so. I kinda feel bad for missing double re, art theory and english but they're all pretty much chump lessons this week seeing as we're making lame posters in religion and we have a sub for english. But, I'll make up for today by doing math later (ie. copying the solutions book for my diagnostic on friday, oh yay) Besides if i went to school I would most likely get Jess sick since everytime I am sick, she gets sick too. So really, I'm going everyone (or at least Jess) a favour.

But for now it's Daria and OC time

SHE WANTED EVERYTHING

I've been thinking of how I'm going to decorate my new room. To be honest, I'm just glad to be finally getting my own room because its about fucking time. Anywho, whilst looking for inspiration I found this lovely flickr account with some of the most beautiful photography and thrift buys of cats that I have ever seen. I'm so jealous, she has an impressive collection of ceramic cat figurines and oh my I'm just really in love with her whole photostream. I found her blog too, http://fieldguided.blogspot.com. I'm thinking perhaps very soft, light colours with a little tea set in one corner and maybe a cat shaped ashtray. I'm really not sure how I want my room to, there are so many things I want to try. I have this problem where I can't decide on what I want and I hate having things one way or style.

There was the eggshell blue wall with the white bedposts and a lot of really Provincial -living-kinda vases for when I decided I wanted to seem kinda grown up, then theres the option where I'm just going to line my whole room with my shoe collection and chuck a floor-matress-style futon on the floor in the hopes that I'll have such a busy amazing life that all I'll need is wardrobe space and somewhere to sleep for the early hours of the morning and now I'm going through a very soft, pretty, fairy lights kinda theme. Knowing me and the indecisive loser that I am, I 'll probably mix everything into one big ball of rubbish and my room will probably end up looking like it does in this house. Cluttered, messy, colourful and all over the place. Who knows what kind of girl I'll be by the time we move into the new house. I kind of wanted it to reflect me outta school and kinda becoming more of a lady rather than an teenage girl with posters of Seth Cohen and the Julian Casablancas on her wall, but change is really hard for me and I hate making decisions so who knows.

TEAM LINDSAY

Lindsay Lohan by Terry Richardson from Purple Magazine on Vimeo.

Not Richardson of course, he's creepy especially on that little rolly chair chasing her but yay Team Lindsay and Alexander McQueen dress! Her life may be in ruins but look at those pins. I like it when she has her hair out of her face and pinned up. I wish she always looked/smiled/laughed like this, I don't care what anybody says.

IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS

I'm not going to list any, if you've been talking to me lately then you will most likely have heard some.

Yayyyy, artwork that is better than mine.

I am listening to Whitney.
I accidentally deleted 9 gigs of music and movies.
I am certain that unless I answered those first four questions from my further sac today, my hopes of passing the pathetic 30 percent marks will be shattered. Yes, the pass is 30. That is incredibly low and yet I still manage to be dangling between a pass and a fail. I should have dropped maths. My brain does not function that way and lately it seems as though it does not function at all. I hate maths.
I failed to submit my chapter review so I will most likely receive a result pending, my maths teacher who is a really, really (I mean apologizes for writing too many notes on the board and apologizes after he yells at us and thinks he's been too harsh when he hasn't really been that harsh at all) nice and sweet man who i've nicknamed Dulspunky looked really disappointed in me. I hated that.
I'm trying to finish my chapter review now but I'm getting almost all the questions in Short Answer wrong, which probably reflects why I did so poorly in the second half of the test today.
I have a bunch of drawings (when i say a bunch i mean four that aren't even drawings but just squiggly using a fineliner to draw what looks like my hair) that I see no potential in. Apparently there must be a reason why I keep drawing flowers over my face and incorporating them in my art work but like i said, i don't think anymore so I have no idea.
And I can only afford the negatives for my 120 film. What am i going to do with negatives. My teeth look horrible in negatives
We have parent teacher interviews next week. My parents have never, ever been. They have no idea how shit I'm doing. They think I'm doing fine. So pretty much this has all been a lie, fuck my life when they find out.
It appears that I'm back into that lull of where I only blog when i am in horrible, shitty shit shit moods. This being one of them.

I wanted to go to bed early tonight but seeing as I am hardly done with my homework I will most likely regret taking the time to post this soon as I click publish.

MY HAIR DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE THIS ANYMORE

I drew these the last time we had art prac at school. I didn't have anything prepared to show my teacher since we'd just finished first piece, and to be honest I hadn't even finished folio for that, and so as usual Isabel and I were in panic mode for suffering Digiglio's wrath. My plan was to sit in class and get straight into some drawings so it looked like I knew what I was doing. It's funny because I'm pretty sure Dig just avoids me and Isabel in class because she knows we havent' done the work. Half the time we're dancing to skank n hoe anyway, so its good that she leaves us alone with our half finished works of art.
Anyway, she expects us to be close to production for our second piece by the time we get back to school, which is like three days away. Goddamn lady, I'm not made of final pieces this is pretty much all I have. I've had some ideas here and there (most very angsty and stupid). These two drawings seem pretty raw. When Dig saw the second one she said it was disturbing but I assured her I just really, really wanted to get a new hair cut. She liked the first one, she said it reminded her of Frida Kahlo (the whacky floral headpieces, kinda cool), which kinda made me happy since I read one of her books the other day and so I guess it has just creeped up into my work. I spent the rest of that lesson in the library searching Frida Kahlo and I have to make some annotations of her work right now for folio. Despite the funky one eye brow and the way she eerily depicts herself and her heart ache, I really really like her work; especially for the latter reasons.

I have no idea what I can do for my second piece, I'm open to any suggestions. Seriously all I can think of right now is submitting a video in which you see me drawing something and then I set it on fire or begin to rub it all out. That kinda appeals to me right now though

WHERE A GIRL GOES

I don't mean Girl A, chillllllax. My sister brought me some goodies from Where A Girl Goes. The website looks amazing and I'm sure the store itself is as sweet and candy coloured as these macaroons are. I'll do a whole la di da post about it when I actually get to visit it myself. I just had a babycake, I'm saving pinky for last <3

Hopefully me and Jill can drop by here soon, I wonder if they have anything with caramel in it (i'm in a current caramel phase, hot damn)

I'm listening to Glee and I've just eaten a large amount of macaroons, cheesecake and hersheys; I think I've eaten all I can to knuckle down for folio, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay (fml)

YOU'RE A DILDO

Sooooo all my friends are out living up their youth while I'm at home rocking backwards and forth.

Actually I have left over pizza, cheesecake, belgian chocolate, chai and The City to watch so it's safe to say I've definitely been worse. For once and very briefly I feel like actually doing folio so maybe it's good I'm home for the night.

Just kidding (not about the food I do have all of that and I have eaten all of it), I wish I was out with my friends. After getting very angsty and angry I decided to go to Melbourne Uni's Experience Melbourne day instead because you know me I love thinking about my future and explaining to strangers what I want from life (if you do know me you'll know that's what I hate most.) Despite wishing i was out right now, it turned out to be kinda fun and the rest of my day wasn't so bad. After being sworn to secrecy, Jill and I went to our new secret street (shoes, dresses, quiches omnomnomnom) and I would have really nice photos to show from today but my camera didn't have its memory card so all those photos just ended up deleting anyway, fml.

Wow, y'know I kinda feel like Joanne (sister of my soul) sitting here and blogging about my day and even putting up a webcam photo. Look at me all chill with my fringe pinned up, eyes pufffy and my pizza smile in my face. I'm kinda like a junk food version of Cher from Clueless when she veges out watching cartoon's whilst brushing her hair except right now I feel drowsy from all the junk food that I've consumed in the past three days.

Resume to normal vague blogging nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnow.

WE HEART IT

Things I love;

and I'm pretty sure this is Isabel's favourite hearted image, she had it as her default for like a week or two;

Which you can all find on me and Isabels weheartit.com account, here. If I haven't been replying on msn, which is often coming from me, then it is most likely that I am either eating cake, looking for cake, watching youtube videos of Charlie or hearting. I swear, the first night i made one I stumbled across the 'pastel' tag and I think I might have hearted like 20 photos in the span of a minute, it was freaken amazing. Isabel and I set up our account not too long ago (on a night when we had so much homework but instead spent the whole night hearting things and coming up with a name and tagline for our page) Sharing this account is actually perfect for us since we usually spend alot of our time sending eachother photos of ron/fin/freddy/cats/cakes/dressses/braidsandplaits/etc, this just makes sharing urls so much easier.

Right now, hearting things and listening to Glee seems to be the only things that don't make me angry. And okay, maybe seeing me listen to Glee is the reason why certain people don't talk to me because it looks really lame but no one likes me when I'm angry so I shall continue listening to Glee. Right now, I seem to be a very angry person. Hopefully tomorrow mum will buy me some pastel nail polish and those pink loveheart tights that I want, I think that might make me a little less angry at everyone/everybody/everything.

ONE MTHRFCKING WEIRD DREAM

Last night I dreamt that I was at a Ballet school but I was also leading a double life, so I had to sneak from this boat where all my friends were and cross this bridge to get to my ballet classes and my ballet teacher was really mean. And in my dream I couldn't find my purple Tutu so I didn't make it to my ballet class and i got really upset that I jumped off the boat into the water but Deanna came and pulled me out of the water. Then I ended up at a party but my grandma was there and the was smoking out of a spring roll. Whatttt the face. Anyway in my dream she broke the spring roll in half and I took it off her to put in the bin but I secretly smoked the rest of it and she asked me why I chucked it away and she said that she wasn't finished with it. Then everyone was smoking really skinny cigarettes and that's all I remember.

I haven't blogged in a while, but I just had to blog this. Either I've been watching too much Dance Academy and everything that's happened with my grandparents lately but what the fuck, it was such a weird dream.

ITS KINDA REALLY NORMAL FOR ME

Mads Mikkelsen. says (10:03 PM):
*you have an unhealthy obsession with cats
CLOSED: (um) says (10:03 PM):
*Aww i read your post
*Haha who said its unhealthy lol?!
Mads Mikkelsen. says (10:03 PM):
*me
Mads Mikkelsen. says (10:04 PM):
*you're gonna become the next cat lady!
CLOSED: (um) says (10:05 PM):
*HAHA thats like my dream
*Haha

Mads Mikkelsen. says (10:00 PM):
*i dunno why but im looking at cat things on ebay

I've been wearing my cat ears all night, I needed a headband to keep my fringe up.