SHE WANTS TO LOVE YOU

I went to bed and woke up with a very, very heavy heart. I'm not going to say that I'm alone and that nobody loves me because I know that I have my friends and my family, I'm not that ungrateful, but I don't feel any love right now. And to me those are two different things. That doesn't mean my friends are treating me differently or that my family doesn't care about me, that's not what I mean. I guess it's just one of those days where you don't feel like anything is truly yours and you question everything that everyone says and does and the littlest thing just brings you down and you create all these moments of self pity in your head and you listen to a thousand songs that make you fucking depressed. I haven't been obviously secluded and distant or anything, but I feel alone. These past 24 hours especially. And I think I know why but I don't want to believe it, because I'm an ignorant fuck to things like that.

But anywho the point in saying all of this is that when you stop thinking and listening to this depressing songs and you see cute little things like the notes your friends randomly leave you on your essays or the messages they send you on msn that pops up in your window while theyre meant to be studying kind of snaps you out of that emo-i-hate-myself spell. It does for me atleast. So today, Julie's little "no Julie" in my Pros and Cons table in my school diary, Jess' little message about my accidental rhyming in my english practice essay and Khoa's little window popping up in the corner of my screen really really like REALLY make me smile and remember to stop being such a sad, emo fuck.

LEMONETTA

Yes, I was desperate enough to search 'happy music' on tumblr. Help me before I turn to the pursuit of happiness self help books.

I can't believe I never realized how happy Phoenix's It's Never Been Like That album was, and I've had it for a while. I even borrowed my friend's vinyl of it last year and I don't remember half of the happy songs. I must have just put the needle straight to the only emo song on that album. I guess, i just never gave any of the other songs much of a listen because I just had One Time Too Many on repeat for most of my days. And that's sad because I think I've fallen into that approach with a lot of things in my life. So, I've decided to make a happy playlist. I think the last time that I made one was in year nine and it wasn't really happy anyway. I'm always up late on my ipod making playlists to fall asleep to, but I've never made a happy one. Apart from the 12 On-the-go's I have, my only other playlists are (N), Closer, Lestrange, Skanknhoe, You Talk Way Too Much, Numero Dos and the Bodyguard. Almost all of those playlists house No One's Gonna Love You and What You Wanted. Apart from Skanknhoe and the Bodyguard (which yes is full of Whitney Houston classics) those other playlists are all pretty angsty and depressing. But after a day at Fraus and Orlando's with my two girlies that I seem to be having the most fun with lately, I think it's time I get back into a happy playlist mood. So far I only have six songs on this playlist, this is all very new to me. I'll need some help. Any suggestions?

(And while looking for happy photos on my computer for this post, it was sweet to find that most of my happiest photos were of Bfg, naw)

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I'm fine

DIN DINS

This was actually a while ago but I was saving some of the other photos from other peoples cameras off fb so I thought why not blogpost about this night as I have such beautiful friends. That amazingly healthy boot filled shoe collection belongs to Lilet, the birthday girl, and that jewellry tree is what we gave to my bestfriend Julie for her birthday. We ate at La Porchetta that night for Let's bday dinner in whats that area called. Yknow, last stop on the train, a lot of muzzas and such? Oh yeah, Watergardens. So respectively I went in my skanky floral dress completely forgetting that I had to catch the train home that night, but luckily I didn't get raped. Probably because my white shoes were so pointy and everyone knows not to mess with a broud with ridiculously pointy shoes. That night was actually really fun because I hadn't hung out with the girls in so long especially all the way in Watergardens with all my filo chicas as well, so score.

SO NOT BELLA

I've said some pretty horrible things about Kristen Stewart, especially as her role as Bella in Twilight, but I can't get over the heart jacket she wears in this interview; it's so goddamn amazing. And that tucked in wolf shirt, she actually seems pretty cool here. And okay, kinda pretty too. I shall lay low on the Kristen Stewart bagging from now on, she has pretty good taste in footwear and music (despite how much I hated seeing her wearing sneakers with her dresses at premiers, she just couldn't pull it off) but in this she look pretty damn cool. Oh, no.