CONTEXT CRUCIBLE ENGLISH EXAM IN TWO DAYS OMAAAAAAAAAGH-GOSH

Having neglected The Crucible from the second that we parted with it and until this afternoon intending to never read or write about it ever again a lot of Witch related things have come up in the past few days.

What only ocurred to me now is the article of Witches in Northern Ghana in frankie which is odd because it is so similar to The Crucible in the way that the accusations of the witch craft all occurred from children's dreams. I hardly ever buy my own issue of frankie and the one time that I do, it has this in it!

The Bill Viola exhibition that my friends and I visited on the weekend. It was in a creepy little church in Parkville and The Fire Woman, apart from its obvious links to a woman calling you to death, half reminded me of a witch from the 1600's being burnt at the stake. Not to mention that before the exhibit and well even the entire week beforehand my friends and I had been talking about strange cults and societies.

And now this recent blog post by Tavi (as pictured above.) We all know her to be fairly eccentric and individualistic in her fashion choices, but the odds of a witch inspired post?

If this isn't a Crucible-calling then I don't know what is.

So for a while I have repeatedly told myself that I am not stronger. I turned to Cher in my moment of weakness and as i told my friends of the empowerment and strength and wisdom that her hits of the nineties gave me, deep inside i only heard the line, 'i really don't think you're strong enough,' in the chorus of Believe. I had completely disregarded the meaning the the entire song, instead caught in a bizarre two minute hate about how weak I've become. But tonight I think after evverything i have come to he conclusion that I am stronger but i don't know if it's for the better. I'm not sure if i have liked who i've become and I am scared that people will start to see it too. As ridiculous as it is and as vital for my blood flow as it is to express how i feel and stand up for myself as pathetically and half-heartedly as i do, I don't feel like this is making me a better person. Was it better when i kept myself unexposed leaving all the anger and blame and insults to the other person? I am so sick of myself and everyone, it seems only fair i drive everyone way.

Too many hoes

RESULT

Hi zabrena,

Thanks for your email.

that would be great if you could email through some sketches and fabric options after your exams. I look forward to hearing from you then and good luck with your exams.

i would love for you to make one up for my daughter. Thanks for your lovely comments on my shop.

Kind Regards,

Sam

I don't know if I should reply or not. I kind of covered everything in my initial email and we discussed size and colours when I met her, so maybe I should just reply when I have some sketches done?

I'm kind of happy but not too happy because nothing's really happening just yet, but oh my God I am so glad she replied to my email! Lately everything at school has been all shitty because of me being inadequate and people being all "I got into Top Arts, watch me paint it all over the school that I'm better than you," so even this one little email gives me a bit of hope and confidence in myself because I know that I don't get any of it at school. Oh well, appraisal makes me really nervous anyway. I'd rather just stick to my quiet dirty dealings of pretty dresses, I really can't wait until exams are over and I can start making these dresses! I hope I have an overlocker by then though

I NEVER DO THE UP DO

1950's hairstyles were elegant and immaculate. The women portrayed on television in the 1950s wore pearls as they vacuumed and had the time to be well-coiffed housewives. See pictures, videos and articles about 1950's hairstyles here.

1950s Hairstyles at Berlin Fashion Week

I hardly ever ever EVER have my hair up, but in case I start to feel more comfortable with my face and having it on full display without my hair to frame or hide it, these up dos would be a lovely place to start for formal. Besides, my hair right now looks really dead and ratty, I nice up do would be good to remind people that I am actually a girl and not a mop.

KATY PERRY AND THE 1950's

I do like her, but sometimes I reckon her bizzare hairstyles and short fringes make her look really drag queenish. As beauitful as she is, she has a lot of drag in some of the faces she pulls, but nonetheless I love when she gets all 1950's with her hair and makeup. I really want curls like the third and fourth for formal. The third is really sophisticated and classic and the fourth is really fun and flirty and pretty.

DRESS ONE

I HAVE A DRESS I HAVE A DRESS I HAVE A DRESS

I still have to photograph it and name it but I am not ready to yet because I feel like it's missing something. But it's a start!

Well, okay for now it is my back up dress because I am still hoping that by some miracle I will get my hands on the Blue Earth Angel Dress and I still have to do some more extensive dress shopping around Fitzroy and such to find the perfect dress, but for now I have a back up!
Yesterday after going to Cristina Re and doing a card making class with my sister and her friends ,where we made adorable wedding and invitation cards (which i might upload later), I was walking down Smith and I found a dress that had the exact same skirt as my dream dress! It is a light baby pink and the top is slightly different, but I'm considering altering it anyway! I found it in this shop that sold fabric and sewing things and they had some things that they made for sale and so I tried it on and it fit so I had to buy it! I don't have a photo of it just yet but I might do a sketch of it later seeing as it's only a back up for now. I am in love with the colour, but I feel like i haven't actually done a solid day of dress shopping so I am still keeping my options open. It wasn't too expensive anyway so I can always buy another dress if I see one that I desperately love.

I also really want to get my hair done at Lure.

I walked past their yesterday with my pink formal dress in hand and it just seemed like the cosmic formal gods alligned, how perfect. Just looking into the window to the pink walls and beaded curtains I thought, damn I am so getting my 1920's curls done there.

Anyway I should stop this formal blogging frenzy and get some homework done

SIX WEEKS UNTIL FORMAL

So, I think it is time that I start the formal count down. I'm sure other girls in my year level, aka Jill have already started their countdown perhaps two months ago (like when she bought that Dolly Formal Special issue and we all laughed at school and read through it reminiscing back on when we actually read Dolly and Girlfriend.)

I've been blogging some inspiration for formal dresses on my lolarevisited.tumblr but they're mostly all a gazillion dollar designer dresses that I could never afford and can only dream about, so I'll leave them on my blog.

This was my initialy inspiration and joy for formal, scanned from Jill's issue of frankie. When I saw it I just knew that this was the style and glamour that I wanted for formal. However, looking up the dress online and finding (pictured below) I kind of fell out of love with the dress. The detail of the matching slip and the layers aren't as defined as in the photoshoot and to be honest I don't think I would pay that much for a dress that I could probably make:

However, I am still completely in love with tights and I really want to get my hands on a pair. But anyway, this is all inspiration.

This past week amidst all the exam study and revision I've checked out perhaps 20, yes truly 20, dress sites in search for formal dresses (seeing as I hardly have time to leave the house to go shopping) and i have bookmarked a couple of things. Originally I wanted a long maxi dress but so far I haven't come across any that I love. It will also be hard to find one that can be my own since how many stores do you know that sell really nice maxis? Exactly, the chances are highly likely that someone could rock up in the same dress as me. However, I am still hopeful and open to finding a really nice floor length or maxi dress to wear.

Last week I found this dress and it remains as my formal dress crush. Meet my dream dress. Just read the description, I am so in love.

I'm just a fool, a fool in love with this dress. With its delightfully retro silhouette, three ruffled tiers of flounce, and shimmering, chiffon-esque contrast over the silky, seafoam green fabric, the vision of its love, loveliness, inspires me to put it on and step back through time to a 1950's high school formal. I'd get a pair of cat-eye glasses, put my hair in a high ponytail, and find some really keen fellow to slow dance with to that classic tune by The Penguins. This is what any bobbysoxer would wear on that special night when a girlish crush turned to true love. Back in my time machine again, and I'm in '62, doing my best Betty Draper at a chic Manhattan cocktail party, wearing long white gloves, classy pumps, and a faux-fur stole, and this dress is still fabulous. One more time and I'm at a wedding in '79, rocking out to Cream on the dancefloor. My hair is super straight, and I've paired this dress with funky statement jewelry and rows of bangles. Before I can catch the bouquet I'm back here in the 21st century right where I was before, coffee mug in hand, dreaming of the perfect formal or semi-formal excuse to pull this dress out of my wardrobe. -Emily, Fashion Writer

It sounds like she's in love too. This dress is everything that a highschool formal should be. Let's face it I have grown up watching countless american teen movies and it would pretty much just complete my high school life if I wore a darling High School Prom inspired formal dress. Look at how reminiscent it is of cheesy and tacky prom dresses of the 50's and possibly even the 80's yet it is so elegantly and beautifuly draped that it works. This dress is like heaven to me, I cannot picture going to formal in anything else. Alalala I could talk about this dress for days.

I AM SO NERVOUS

Hi Sam,
I'm Zabrena Lopez, we met at the french festival and I was wearing the pink floral patterned smock dress with the frilly jabot at the front that you liked. I am so sorry it has taken me so long to email you, I've been so swamped with revision for my final exams but I have emailed to say that I would love to make your daughter a dress perhaps after exams if you're still interested. If you want, I could draw up some sketches and fabric options and email them to you by the end of october-beginning of november (after my exams finish) and if you're still interested then I would love to discuss making one for your daughter.

You can email me anytime if you have any ideas or requests. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and it was lovely to meet you that day!

ps. I love your shop! I just checked out your website and it's the most fun to browse through.

Sincerely, Zabrena.

How does that sound? I'm going to email that to the lady that I met at the french festival who wanted me to make her daughter a dress. She was so sweet! She asked about my dress and Jill told her that I made it and then next thing I knew she was giving me her card and her daughters size and she seemed really keen on having a dress made. Aw, I hope she replies. It would be so much fun to make kids clothing! I really should have emailed her sooner but I was too scared and I often put off things out of fear that they won't happen. Sigh, wish me luck!

These are some sweet things that I found off her shop's website http://www.redwagon.net.au:

Oh my God, I need to have these for my new room:

I'M NO GOOD

I hate myself
I don't care if every other seventeen year old girl and boy on this planet hates themselves too. I just made my mum cry and I have never seen her cry like that before and that is saying alot since I've seen her cry through everything. Everyone in this house hates them self and I am no different.
I wouldn't want to meet me or be friends with me or give birth to me. What the fuck.

So there's the truth, you can all go judge me now because your assumptions are probably right anyway

@ AU REVOIR LISA

LISA said...

I can't imagine you in track pants and flip flops. What happened to http://lolarevisited.blogspot.com/ ???

October 4, 2010 7:35 AM

A. I had a really bad falling out with a friend like ages ages and ages so I didn't feel comfortable leaving my thoughts there at the time. I was also too much of an emo whiny bitch on it that I kind of just wanted to leave all my horrible thoughts and posts there, haha.

Hehe, I tried to copy and paste your little display picture from the comment too but it's so small so I thought why not post a picture of us all together at last year's Christmas party. Wow, that means I haven't seen you since last summer. I miss you girly, I'm sure after exams we'll all be swimming our little butts off at MSAC again, yay!

I'm pretty sure this photos theme was titanic, hence you being all "I'm king of the world" and me being all "Omg, i dropped my necklace into the bottom of the ocean but I am so happy"

I also can't get onto your blogspot, did you move permanently to tumblr :O

BLUE MONDAY

Me on monday morning
first day of term four

two weeks of revision before exams
Hell and teenage fucking boredom

So I tried the whole 'casual hoodie and sneakers' thing (which I hardly ever do) for the first day back at school since the year 12's get to wear casual for the last two weeks but ironically I did not feel comfortable or happy in my Everlast hoodie and sneakers. The sneakers yes. The hoodie? I actually quite love. But the hoodie and the t-shirt and the sneakers together? It was too, too much for me. As ironic as it is, the idealized comfy, casual get up does not work for me at all. I figured, why not try it. You're in year 12, you should have study on the brain. Just wake up and put on that lame hoodie and go. Lot's of people seem to find the most comfort in trackies and hoodies but to be honest I didn't. I think some people were shocked to see me in what I was wearing because it was so different for me. Like when I wore jeans to Olivia's birthday party because no one had ever seen me in pants: only coloured or patterned stockings. That was fun though. Today was just depressing. It's funny how some people think that it's silly to get all dressed up on casual days at school or to just get dressed up to leave the house because of all the fuss. But it's not fuss. It's comfort, which I've learnt is subjective. I can feel warm and snuggly in my hoodie at home in the confides of my house, not having to interact with anyone or even move my butt of the couch. But today at school trying to stay awake and whilst trying to keep up conversation at recess I just felt like I was in depressing home mode where I all I wanted to do was wear fat pants and eat ice cream on the couch and not talk or smile about anything (I can be pretty depressing at home, I know). To be honest I need colour and pattern and layers and texture and lots and lots of rings. I really would feel more comfortable in my blazer or coloured stockings, really. It's weird that I didn't feel as comfy as I looked today with my scruffy hair and baggy hoodie, but at the same time slightly comforting that I will never ever want to leave my house looking like that again.

I'm sorry if i sound like a douche, but I just found today funny. Anyway, apart from dressing like a crocodile at an alligator convention (similar to everyone else there, but unconfortably different- family guy joke right thur) today was genuinely shit. I only had three or four hours of sleep and I couldn't pay attention in any of my classes or that stupid art SAC at the end of the day. Not to mention I left my glasses at home so my first day of revision was a complete waste. I also felt really displaced at recess but I can't talk about that right now so I'll just find some excluded, emo drawings to post tomorrow.

I NEED SLEEP

WRITING UP DATA SHEETS FOR ART THEORY

This over my Year 12 hoodie any day.

MATERIALISTIC

I hope your heart runs empty