BLUE MONDAY

Me on monday morning
first day of term four

two weeks of revision before exams
Hell and teenage fucking boredom

So I tried the whole 'casual hoodie and sneakers' thing (which I hardly ever do) for the first day back at school since the year 12's get to wear casual for the last two weeks but ironically I did not feel comfortable or happy in my Everlast hoodie and sneakers. The sneakers yes. The hoodie? I actually quite love. But the hoodie and the t-shirt and the sneakers together? It was too, too much for me. As ironic as it is, the idealized comfy, casual get up does not work for me at all. I figured, why not try it. You're in year 12, you should have study on the brain. Just wake up and put on that lame hoodie and go. Lot's of people seem to find the most comfort in trackies and hoodies but to be honest I didn't. I think some people were shocked to see me in what I was wearing because it was so different for me. Like when I wore jeans to Olivia's birthday party because no one had ever seen me in pants: only coloured or patterned stockings. That was fun though. Today was just depressing. It's funny how some people think that it's silly to get all dressed up on casual days at school or to just get dressed up to leave the house because of all the fuss. But it's not fuss. It's comfort, which I've learnt is subjective. I can feel warm and snuggly in my hoodie at home in the confides of my house, not having to interact with anyone or even move my butt of the couch. But today at school trying to stay awake and whilst trying to keep up conversation at recess I just felt like I was in depressing home mode where I all I wanted to do was wear fat pants and eat ice cream on the couch and not talk or smile about anything (I can be pretty depressing at home, I know). To be honest I need colour and pattern and layers and texture and lots and lots of rings. I really would feel more comfortable in my blazer or coloured stockings, really. It's weird that I didn't feel as comfy as I looked today with my scruffy hair and baggy hoodie, but at the same time slightly comforting that I will never ever want to leave my house looking like that again.

I'm sorry if i sound like a douche, but I just found today funny. Anyway, apart from dressing like a crocodile at an alligator convention (similar to everyone else there, but unconfortably different- family guy joke right thur) today was genuinely shit. I only had three or four hours of sleep and I couldn't pay attention in any of my classes or that stupid art SAC at the end of the day. Not to mention I left my glasses at home so my first day of revision was a complete waste. I also felt really displaced at recess but I can't talk about that right now so I'll just find some excluded, emo drawings to post tomorrow.

I NEED SLEEP