TWENTY-WHAT

I am currently watching 'The Countdown' episode of the O.C season one. Y'know the nye to episode to get me all excited for nye which as of fifty-eight minutes ago has already begun. Sigh. But I don't feel excited or anything. Usually at the end of each year I feel al nostalgic and sad about leaving a year behind. Even if the year was shitty, I always felt like I had something to learn from it. If anything, this year (being the last year of highschool and of many many things) I have learnt so much but hardly any of it feels worth it. I don't know. So much has happened and gone down so fast this year that it feels like the only way to survive it was so suppress and just move on as quickly as possible with so many things. Now i guess it's just hard to go back to feelings things. I don't want 2010 to have just passed me by. I know there was is so much to remember but it feels like most of me would rather just forget. If i am this ready to just let go of the year that was meant to be 'the best year ever', how many more things will i be willing to just let pass me by? Maybe this is just me growing up

I guess some things were beautiful, but a lot of 2010 still hurt.